Saying No

How many of you think saying No is rude? We all hesitate to say No only because we are afraid of what others might think of us.

You are invited to a marriage and you instantly say Yes. But in your mind you remember that you already have another appointment or already busy that day. But still you cant go back and say No. You wait till the day before the marriage date and say… “ hey how’s your marriage preparation going on? You know what.. I suddenly caught fever. I might not be able to travel tomorrow. But still I will try.” So here you have again delayed the process of saying No and added a lie to it as well. But you did it to not hurt the other person’s feeling.

Next day you message them instead of calling “ Hey.. sorry could not attend your marriage. I am still not well. Will visit you when I get time. Congrats Buddy!” Here you lied again and you still are unable to say No.

We are in a constant fear of rejecting someone, their opinions, their invites, their beliefs. We think if we say No they will get angry, walk away, they might do the same to us, their feelings get hurt.

But saying Yes is just a process of delaying when you will eventually say No.

Some of you may have come across situations in your life where you are asked to do something you don’t like. You hate it but to keep them happy you say Yes. Everything goes sweet and happy but there comes one day when you are no longer able to say Yes. You express your disagreement and you see they turn against you. They just want you to say Yes, no matter what happens to you. It does not matter to them that you are happy or not. Maybe this situation might have been avoided if you had said No at the start. Maybe they might not get this angry at you.

Politely say No by saying “Thank you but sorry I am already booked”, “I respect your opinion but I don’t think it will work for me”, “Thank you but I will pass this one”.

So here are some of the advantages of saying No

  • You respect yourself.
  • You become brave.
  • You stand up for yourself.
  • You take control of your life.
  • You get rid of unwanted worry.
  • You don’t give false hope to someone.
  • You come to know another person’s true behavior.
  • You save your time.
  • You start enjoying what you like.
  • You stay away from people who really don’t like you.
  • You no longer take unwanted stress.
  • You make your own decisions.

You don’t have to accept things you are not okay with.

Marriage life

Acsah Roshan

It’s been 2 years to my marriage now. Along the way I understood that we are more successful as a team. We overcome the challenges together. Our unfailing love for one another has kept us together and God has blessed us abundantly with a child.

One thing that comes to mind is the long-time commitment. Can’t say married life will be all filled with happiness. Both husband and wife selflessness grow the family love. Both appreciate each other, help and care for each other. Both husband and wife have to contribute equally for the family to be happy. There will be joys and sorrows, you stick together during those times.

Here are few of my thoughts on marriage:

Disagreements

I have heard many times, if there is some disagreement in the marriage always the wife is asked to adjust. Why is it so? I believe Husband is equally responsible. There is some disagreement then one has to compromise but does not mean it should be always the same person.

Listening and Respect

You listen to each other’s opinions and respect each other. Husband might not like wife’s opinion always and same applies for wife. But you still listen to each other to be together because you love each other.

Parenting

You begin as a couple and family extends once you have children. Now you have additional person to take care of. Both has to take care of the child. Many woman are asked to leave their jobs after marriage to take care of their children. They leave their jobs and dreams. This won’t be the case if the husband supports wife in taking care of the family. They can always come up with solutions to make sure everyone is happy.

Responsibilities

Responsibility increases and you come together to contribute. You sacrifice your wants and focus on only what is really needed for the family. It should never be only one person taking up the responsibility but about oneness.

In laws

Most marriages get issues when their in-laws come into picture. You both will be happy and adjusting with each other. But once your in-laws are forcing their decisions it creates problems for your marriage if one of you does not agree to it. If you are both okay with their decision then there is no problem to go with it. I believe once you are married, it’s up to the husband and wife to make decisions for their family.

Every marriage is different but goal is the same. Everyone wants to live as a happy family and this can be only possible if both husband-and-wife respect and love each other’s differences. I believe marriage is a God’s union, never let anybody separate you.

I have created a short husband-wife meme video( just for fun ) – you can watch it here https://youtu.be/4fcU-uoYIl8